Single In The City: “Change Of Heart”
Dating in New York is risky business if you ain’t got a swagger like moi, and it’s even worse if your name’s not Lil Wayne. Money still has its place in amore and, unfortunately, a lot of y’all ladies got Gucci bags for hearts.
I’m not the wealthiest guy on Earth – hell, I get paid to play video games, talk to celebrities and watch movies – so stuntin’ ain’t a habit for yours truly. In the end, though, a gentleman shows a lady a nice time, but even going dutch on a date has its hassles.
The good folks at Tribeca Grill were kind enough to let my date and I dine and, after a hearty meal of steak and potatoes, we went in on the wine selection. Her almond skin was glistening, with deep, suggestive eyes, captivating anyone who wished to stare in her direction. With a buttery smooth voice, she asked, “How come men don’t show out anymore?”
Me, being the liberal-minded man, joked, “Because… women don’t put out anymore.” We laughed. Her eyes squinted, feigning anger. See, this girl didn’t have the problems of being too young at an old age, and she wasn’t a nympho, either. She was like Lauren London on a budget. More wine was consumed and her mind sex game was poppin’! Over a rousing game of “Innuendo,” she managed to compare Lewinsky to boxing (”headshots”, she says…), explained why McCain’s a pimp and hilariously spun a story about what Superhead’s retirement party would be like – without the anal beads! (NSFW)
I had to admit, though, shawty was a catch and I wanted to make sure that I did my duty to keep a smile on that pretty girl’s face. When our waiter returned with the bill, he placed it right in front of me, my face confident that my InteractiveOne check was in the account.
Now, before I go on, I have to say that asking for anything must be a tough thing for anyone to do and even worse when you’re asking it from a sista who clocks six figures and “don’t need nothin’ from no man!” But I figured that, being in the 21st Century, we would find black love on the upswing and feel that we’ve defied simple stereotyping and gender labeling.
“Hey, baby, you think you can leave the tip?” I ask. Let me tell you… that pretty girl’s face turned Khia really quick! “You asked me out and can’t even leave the tip?” (That ball-stomp cost me 78.41 USD pre-tip, and I tried to hold back from going all New York-ish…) I felt a lil’ steam off homegirl’s neck, and wanted to now see if she just needed to vent.
“That’s what’s up,” I say. Suddenly, I felt the ghost of Eddie Murphy creep into my soul, and God does work in mysterious ways! Truly! That sexy mug of hers just got more and more sad-faced, but I didn’t understand why. Trying to be Mr. Sensitive, I say, “Look, let’s just try to be fair, I’ll throw half in, on top of whatever you put in, okay, darlin’…?” She regrettably smiles, opens up her Gucci bag and pulls out this big Ziploc bag of change.
– Insert awkward silence here –
She smiled to break the ice, but somewhere, someone was laughing at this predicament. As homegirl kicked her rap about how she’s “frugal,” I noticed how her game was so on point that she managed to just leave a dollar tip, which pissed off our waitress, for sure! I put my dollar next to hers, flashed a warm smile (while my mind was searching for the next thing to say) and we exited the Tribeca Grill with smiles and giggles still in tact.
Ladies… was I wrong somewhere? Would it have been better to go the whole nine yards ’cause it’s a date? Or does common courtesy have its say? Speak on it!
Tweet This
Digg This
Save to delicious
Stumble it
RSS FeedLeave a Reply
0 Trackbacks
Trackback URL for this post:
http://dontloseyourdayjob.com/2009/09/07/single-in-the-city-change-of-heart/trackback/
1 Pings
- Single In The City: I’m Tired Of Those ‘Light-Skin Girl Blues’ « Don't Lose Your Day Job2010-04-19 13:43:57
[...] things in life. Her taste was more Gucci than Nike and she always wanted to go out. Personally, not my cup o’ tea, but Markus ate it up. He loved the way she would get glamorous and reveled in the fact that nine [...]
Recent Comments
Whats the point of having Gucci purse and you have no money to put in it? BTW if youre takin me out and treating me to $70 meals I have no prob leaving a tip...but hey you fellas like the ladies who are broke label slaves and not ladies with saving accounts and property...
i wouldnt have mongd to leave the tip. that was just triflin. she aint ready for the big world
lmao!!..ok maybe shes one of those women who have been told all her life that if a man asked you out on a date means he is automatically qualified to pay..which is so0o0 not the case.. i personally bring my own money and ask sincerely if he would like to go half or i insist on paying the tip becaus im considerate..he just paid for dinner why not??..but some women dont think that is the case all the time..but on the flip side men have "barked" on me for even asking..then have the nerve to have an attitude because i asked in the first place..so my guess is you have to be very easy when it comes down to who pays what.