Single In The City: “If Everyone’s A Freak, Then What Am I?”
Clark Kent says: My 2010 started as auspiciously as my 2009 did. But one thing I noticed about last year that I hope will change this year is the word “freak”. I hope that it dies a horrible, terrible death in the new year. See why after the jump.
December 31st, 2009. Time… 11:47pm. I’m at Alibi having myself a blast before the clock strikes midnight. The “Happy New Year” texts have begun to come in on my phone, so I sit and take a few seconds to reply. Mind you, I’m sitting in the back of the club where it has been unofficially deemed the “Chill Before Midnight” spot. While I’m replying to friends and family, I notice this cute girl in a leopard print dress. We eye-fu*ked for a few seconds and I pondered a witty remark to say to her, but kept mum.
Meanwhile, her homegirl was suffering the “Mac Attack” courtesy of a drunken club goer. Guy was stumbling and bumbling, but definitely an A+ for effort. The girl is replying and seems mused. That is until homeboy says to the girl, “I’ll break your back out.” Even I had to look up with the Scooby Doo face. SMH. The girl rolled through it like a champ, but her leopard printed friend got off a silent chuckle to herself.
I always thought it was “blow your back out“… but what do I know? Fast forward to 2010 and I’m having an interesting conversation with a homegirl who was talking about her love life. Even though I’ve retired the Dr. Phil title, my ear still gets called upon. She was expressing herself and hinting to some of the things that were lacking in her private life. I blurted out a comment — one that shall stay off the page — and she responded with, “Ooh, you’re a freak!”
I abhor that term.
“If everyone’s a freak, then how do you tell them apart?” I asked. “Some are freakier than others,” she replied. I nodded, but countered with, “But they’re still all freaks.” She gave me a Kanye shrug and the space was open to be filled. And as much as folks who know me know that I can go on a rant or two, I surprisingly kept mum. The thought, though, had lingered in my head for a few days and it’s working itself out now here, in this blog.
One thing I do know is that there is no more mystery when it comes to engaging in relations with the opposite sex. Music videos aside, it’s permeated our consciousness. We know it’s there and relish in every desirable delight. Last year was Fu*k Fest 2009 and I rode the bench tough. This year I’m not moving off that muthasucka. I miss the excitement that goes with being close to somewhere. The creativity is severely lacking.
The other thing I know is that you cannot do everything to everybody, but that memo got lost here in New York [laughs]. I keed, I keed. All I can say is that while I’m not mad at anyone who can get their jollies off during this recession, I believe the expressions we use to “do the dew” can be stepped up. Saying that one is a “freak,” is like saying that you’re “always on the grind.” Sure you may be known in your town, but who knows you in the city? Dig?
Without putting too much of me into this post, I have to say that when I do settle down, she better be 82% as much of an artiste that I am with myself.
Ladies, are you a freak? I keed, I keed… But how much is too much when it comes to expressing yourself sexually? What is TMI for you? Share your thoughts in the comments section.
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Recent Comments
I agree that term is lame...at a certain age you are no longer a FREAK but a grown ass person just having fun
"The other thing I know is that you cannot do everything to everybody, but that memo got lost here in New York [laughs]." ^^^^I couldn't agree with this more... GREAT post.
Not everything should or can be classified as a freak. I do agree that the term freak should be buried, like Adina Howard's career. I feel like no one can take that term seriously anymore so the connotations that flow with the word are taken for play-play too. There needs to be a new word created for the sexually-mysterious person, the sensually-advanced and creative creature lolz. Idk, something less judgemental and condoscending and more classifying but adventurous. Just my random thoughts.
Being a freak is really about being confident/comfortable with your self and a situation. i definitely think there is "freak" in everybody, its really about how much that person is willing to express, like you pointed out in your blog. I think in every situation one must judge how much of their "freakeness" to release. not everyone can handle it.
I feel the same way. We lose the meanings of words til they mean nothing...much like love. Freak is like saying ... oooh you can say sex aloud and not feel totally embarassed. More than creativity I we all need to take a break. Not a break from sex but a break from rote living and learning. How many of us are going through life allowing other people/society label us as something like a freak when you might just are in awareness of your sexuality - which means you have an awareness of your being. So the real question is not what is a freak but whats the word for a person who is not comfortable in their own sexuality.... I'll wait. -KSV
When it comes to being a freak, I think it is taken out of topic when it comes to women. Men have their own definition to the word "freak". You can be a "classy freak" or a "trashy freak". A "classy freak does her freakin undercover, she has a limit to who she'd do but not to what she'd do and is not a shamed of it cause it is discreet. A "trashy freak" on the other hand does her freakin whereever or whenever. She doesn't care who knows or who it is she is freakin!
when sex is concerned it is a mutual sensual thing..regardless how hard and or soft the sex maybe lol..now in terms of a freak..theres a big difference between a freak and a kinkster..a freak is someone that like to express sex like art..out of the box..but a kinkster just likes to do crazy out of this world shit..like you do me in the vagna i do you in the butt kind of thing..so not everyone is a freak..some people are kinky as hell but say there a freak so they dont scare people away lol